Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 18, Episode 7
The following is a list of Scenes We'd Like To See topics and suggestions for the seventh episode of the eighteenth series. Key EG: Ed Gamble EA: Eshaan Akbar SV: Sindhu Vee RJ: Rhys James HD: Hugh Dennis AB: Angela Barnes Topics Things You Wouldn't Hear Over A Tannoy HD: We apologize for the delay. Fuck knows when Brexit's happening. EG: The train on platform 3 has been cancelled because it said something racist on Mock The Week. SV: Please do not leave your children unattended, unattended children will be removed and destroyed. RJ: And if you look ouf of the window on your left, you'll see Christ the Redeemer because I've crashed the plane and this is the afterlife. AB: Ah, this is cashier number 5. Can I get a price check, can I get a price check for one large tub of Vaseline and one large cucumb-- it's okay, he's gone. EA: In a moment, the flight crew will remind you you're in a metal tube that can fall out of the sky. Please pay attention as they tell you about a whistle that in no way will save your life. EG: This is a reminder to smokers this is a non-smoking flight, and this is a reminder to vapers, you don't look as cool as you think you do. HD: (in a Dutch accent) Amsterdam Brothels would like to apologize for the yelp of pain you just heard. Unexpected item in the shagging area. AB: (in a drunk voice) Hello, this is your pilot speaking just to prove that I am not too drunk to use the tannoy, Jeff! RJ: Just a reminder that when we ask you to report anything that doesn't look right, we meant terrorist sort of stuff, not just a baby wearing ripped jeans. HD: To avoid congestion, please walk to the end of the platform, through the tunnel, and to the next station. EG: Don't forget you can take advantage of many deals in store today or go with "No Deal" because WE'RE BRITISH AND WE WON A WAR! EA: If you see something that doesn't look right, please ignore it. This is England after all: See it, feel uncomfortable about it, sort it. SV: This is your pilot, captain Mohammed Asim. Psych, it's John Smith. HD: This is an announcement for the man in the petting zoo: Heavy petting is not allowed, get your tongue out of that llama! EG: And we've just pulled out of Paddington. Nobody expected the third film to end that way. RJ: This is your train driver, I don't wish to alarm you, but it seems that we have traveled into space. Now nobody-- ah, nighttime, nighttime again. Unlikely Lines From A Blockbuster Movie HD: We are a race of superintelligent beings who come from Uranus. Why is everyone laughing? AB: Welcome to the Hunger Games, or as it's also known, London Fashion Week. EG: The only way to defeat the evil clown is by turning him off then on again. This is I.T. EA: Look, Rose, the way I see it, the ship is sinking and we're all going to die. So... bum stuff? HD: Joker: A comedian become psychotic because people don't find him funny. Just a little warning, that's all. SV: Fast and Furious: The story of what happens to sex in marriage. HD: (in a stuffed-up voice) No, of course I'm not Mad Max, not with this cold. I'm Lemsip Max! RJ: Gah! Shit, that hurt so much! God, I hate living in Lego World! EG: There's only one superhero who can get into this frozen meal. Leave it to Thor. RJ: My name is Maximus Decimus Merillius-- Sorry, yes, I did go to private school, how did you know that? EA: "Dude, where's my car?" "I traded it in for a bike!" "Oh, piss off, Greta." EG: I don't like to call it the one ring, I like to call it an unexpected item in the Baggins area. AB: I think this could be the beginning of a very beautiful friendship. Look, he sent me a dick pic. EG: Woody, Buzz, you're not the only toys that come to life. I belong to Andy's mum, and my name is Rampant Rabbit. RJ: You want to know why they call me the Riddler? It's because all of my partners are riddled with STDs. EA: I got this role 'cause Romesh couldn't make it. (walks off, then heads back to the mic) I got this role 'cause Nish couldn't make it!